A Year Ago From Today

A year ago from today, I was beaten down.

A year ago from today, I was hurt.

A year ago from today, I was broken so badly, I did not think that I would ever be able to feel whole again.

A year ago from today, I lost hope.

A year ago from today, I lost faith.

A year ago from today, I lost everything that I had thought I wanted, that I thought I needed, that I thought I couldn’t live without.

 

A year ago from today, I had had suicidal thoughts.

A year ago from today, I had wanted to kill myself.

A year ago from today, I had been hurt like I had never been hurt before. Pain had raced through my body and I had finally understood the expression ‘having your heart ripped out.’

 

A year ago from today, I had cried my eyes out.

A year ago from today, a little piece of me had died.

A year ago from today, everything that I had believed in, burnt down and turned to ashes in front of my very own eyes.

 

A year ago from today, I had thought all hope was lost.

A year ago from today, I had cried in front of total strangers.

A year ago from today, something inside of me had changed. The consequences of someone else’s actions had such a profound impact on me that I couldn’t even explain. An impact so deep, it changed the very structure of my bones, the very code of the genetic makeup of my body. The feelings ran so deep that I thought that I had lost everything and I felt as if I could never be the same again.

 

 

Turns out,

I WAS WRONG.

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