It’s such a harsh thing. Betrayal. When somebody betrays you, you honestly feel like you’ve just been stabbed in the back. Especially when it’s someone very close to you. You suddenly start this emotional roller coaster. You’re mad, and sad, and hurt, and angry all at the same time. At one point you want to get back at the person who betrayed you, but then in the next moment, all the fight seems to sag out of you, and you’re just too tired and drained to go on. You don’t have the will or energy to fight back.
The worst part is when the betrayal leads to disappointment. It was caused because of expectations and eventually, led to disappointment. You didn’t want to hope, but in the end you couldn’t help but fall into the trap. And now that you’ve fallen in, there’s no barricade against the emotions that are now swirling inside and haunting you. Because of the disappointment, you suddenly start hating everything about yourself and you start doubting everything about you. You suddenly see everything as a negative, and if not taken care of, this can lead to depression.
Why do you think that there are so many people out there who have committed suicide or hurt themselves on purpose just to feel the pain? Disappointment, betrayal, hurt, anger. These people all have had a bad experience in their life which has severely hurt them. They have been scarred so deeply that their basic anatomy has changed. They no longer are the same person and they no longer can go back to being the same person. They’ve been betrayed by close people or, it doesn’t even have to be people close to them! It could be in general the behaviour of people, because let’s face it, we all have a mean streak inside or us and sooner or later, it comes out and hurts people. They’ve been shunned aside by society, been called names, teased, bullied, mocked, ragged, because no matter what you’ve heard, words hurt.
And when you’ve been hurt so bad that you’ve fallen down, pushed aside so far that you’ve lost your way, been betrayed so deeply that you no longer feel, is when you no longer know. You no longer know why or how you’re still alive.